Do you ever have those days where you just feel useless?
Last week I found myself smack dab in the middle of a mood. While I can usually feel one of these coming on, and respond quickly with chocolate, this one caught me off guard.
A friend, who is a missionary in Panama, posted the organizations promo video, and like a fool I watched it.
As most know, our time in Panama didn't end well. Honestly I was curious as to what they were up to, and hoping that they would show some of what they've been doing in the community there.
Instead I was bombarded with familiar places that brought tears to my eyes. They spoke of the opportunity to reach the nations through this one city because of it's diversity.
Something stirred in my heart and I started to feel like I wasn't living up to my potential. I allowed that voice to whisper to me "They're doing what you have failed to do." "You are stuck at home with your heart in another country, and God can't use you like this."
It was depressing.
It's hard when ever fiber of your being wants to jump in head first, but your heart knows that you are in the right place at the right time.
Now is the time for restoration and growth. I am SO thankful that God has given us a safe place to grow, but part of my heart aches for what is next.
That afternoon I left work early to go to the dentist. I was scheduled to get my second root canal. (Thank you Celiac Disease for ruining my teeth!)
At the dentist a new set of nerves kicked in. I don't love shots....especially not shots in the roof of my mouth.
After a few tries half of my face was completely numb and we were ready to get started.
About half way through the procedure one of the receptionists came by the room to let the dentist know that one of their patients had passed away.
At this news the assistant shared that she was terrified of death. The dentist responded saying "You're terrified to die because you don't have the hope of eternal life in Jesus."
Honestly y'all....I thought I was hallucinating. I was sitting there the whole time thinking "Is this really happening?"
The assistant would ask questions about this hope that was spoken of, and the dentist would answer, always reverting back to scripture.
They finished the procedure and I was just waiting for them to take bite impressions for the crown. The assistant were in the room alone and she looks at me and says "What do you think?"
I asked her to clarify what she meant, and she said "What do you think about what she was saying."
I got the chance to tell her that the dentist was SPOT ON. And that the hope of eternity is what drives away the fear of death.
Tuesday afternoon, March 4th, I got to share the gospel with a dental assistant after a root canal.
I know that God is in the divine appointment business, but this really blew me away. Not only did she need to hear about the hope of salvation, but I needed to be reminded that the Great Commission says "As you are going."
