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The story of an amazing God's work in our family.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Where Feet May Fail

I'm not good at expressing emotions.  I spent most of my childhood hiding the way I feel so that it couldn't be used against me.

'My heart' is a phrase that you will hear me use when I can't express the deep emotion that I'm feeling.

Y'all.

My heart.

Last night our small group had its last meeting for the semester.  We grilled burgers and dogs and sat around chit chatting about baked beans recipes and the conundrum of ab workouts. (You workout your abs so you have a smaller waist, but the workout makes your abs hurt so much that you can no longer 'suck it in.')

I didn't realize at the time, but while I was downing Mountain Dew like it was my job, my childhood friend was losing his life.
Yesterday, in a freak accident, a boy that I had known since I was 2 years old was shot and killed in his home.  His family was gathered to celebrate the birth of their first son.

On the way home from my last small group meeting I read the short article posted on Facebook by mutual friend and immediately started to sob.
A million questions started going through my mind:  What just happened?  Is there anything I can do?  Is his wife ok?  How is his mom?

I immediately remembered that this is the same boy that used to get blamed for pulling my hair...even though it was really his best friend.
I thought about baby Jax and how he will never his father.

Of course, in times like these people squeeze their loved ones extra tight and try to remind themselves that God has a plan.

If I'm being honest, as my head hit the pillow last night, I repeated over and over through cold wet tears:
"Lord, I believe but help my unbelief."

Today, as Facebook is flooded with pictures, and memories, and condolences, I am praying for Jess.  I literally can't imagine what she's going through.  I pray that the peace that passes all understand will be real to her.

I pray for Mrs. Sandy and Mr. Billy, that they would have wisdom in the words that they speak over their daughter.

I pray for Mrs. Vicki.  That she would be comforted.  That the pieces of her heart would begin, even now, to weld together.

I pray for Brian, Justin's best friend.  That he would continue to draw close to God and that he would be a source of wisdom and strength for the family.

I pray for Emily, Jess' best friend, that just her touch would be a source of comfort for Jess.

I pray for baby Jax.  That he would grow to be a man of integrity, like his father.

 I pray for those who will feel Justin's absence in the days and weeks to come.

I don't have answers.  I don't even have anything comforting to say.  But I can pray, so that's what I'll do.

Donations to support Jess and baby Jax can be given here.