Only The Good

 Maaaaannnn……It has been A. Year.

I think that most people would agree that 2020 has been…well…a dumpster fire.

It’s so easy to look back over the year and mourn for all the things that were lost or completely different than our expectations.

Concerts, competitions, and vacations cancelled.

Countless hours lost trying to get refunds for services that could no longer be performed.

Trying to focus on a church service in your pajamas from your couch.

Never. Ending. Zoom. Meetings.

Isolation.

Depression.

Fear.

By now, everyone in the world should be well acquainted with the five stages of grief, because in some way, shape, or form, we have all been on a grief roller coaster since March.

Focusing on the good has to be a conscious decision.

A year ago my last grandparent went to be with Jesus.

We….didn’t have an amazing relationship.

It would be easy for me to remember the time that we screamed at each other and almost ruined family vacation. Or the multiple comments that she made about myself and my kiddos that hurt feelings.

But…

I could also remember that she would always let us help in the kitchen – even when we were less than helpful.

Or how she always made sure that I got the center biscuit, and that my brother had a spot of sweet potato casserole without pecans.

Or how she sewed me a bathing suit out of one of her old ones because I hadn’t packed one for our visit.

Or how she would let us decorate cool-whip lids with leftover icing and then eat it all off.

Or how she was friends with LITERALLY everyone.

Or how she served in the church nursery with the babies until she couldn’t anymore.

Or how she volunteered to go as a chaperone on a youth trip because they needed one more, and she didn’t have any plans that week.

Or how she was the most adventurous 70 year old ever.

Or how she wasn’t afraid to take a trip by herself because she didn’t need anyone else to have a good time.

Or how she sewed my wedding dress (complete with 10,000 beads).

I could say that she was stubborn and bull headed, or I could acknowledge that she was strong-willed and determined, which are qualities that women of her generation earned the right to be.

I could say that she was stuck in an antiquated mindset, but then I remember how she loved on inner city kiddos and sang them songs about Jesus.

I could say that she wasn’t my biggest fan, but then I remember that she made sure to tell my mom the things she wanted me to have after she was gone because I was the one who “made her a grandma.”

So today, as I’m piping egg yolk mixture into boiled eggs I’m thankful that she taught me how to use  a piping bag and a star tip.

And as I’m enjoying Thanksgiving lunch with my work family I’m thankful that she passed down her recipe of sweet potato casserole (that I had to make a double batch of because so many people requested it).

And next week, for family Thanksgiving, I’ll make Apple Salad (in the green bowl, because it doesn’t taste the same in any other bowl) and I’ll be thankful that who she was has influenced who I am.